Juanito’s Travels 50 yr backpacker – Chiang Mai, Songkran (Thai New Year) April, Thailand pt27

Songkran Chian Mia Thailand April 2023

I’ve spent the day in bed in Luang Prabang, Laos. My body finally succumbing to the round 37-39 degree heat we’ve been subjecting it to every day, and the constant input of rather spicy, and at times perhaps dodgy, food. My current tummy troubles may not have been from food and could have been from a tea (maktoum tea) that is meant to help with digestion but can also lead to flatulance, nausea etc that they they gave us after a massage. Who knows, we’re freaking our body out everyday with new experiences, maybe it just gave up for a bit so it could have a rest. But, in the category of probably too much information I had all the above symptoms and was feeling shit for a whole day.

Since starting the previous paragraph we’ve travelled through Chiang Mai & Chiang Rai in Thailand, then over into Laos where we travelled by slow boat from Huay Xi to Pakbeng. We spent a couple of days in Pakbeng and visited an elephant sanctuary organised by a French woman called Helen and then boarded the slow boat again to Luang Prabang, which I now see as the Paris or Melbourne of South East Asia. The slow boat really, really, really, really sucks by the way, but I’ll do more on than in a later blog.

I was hoping to finish off my story of my 1995 trip to Ireland, the UK, France, Thailand and India before starting this trip around the world, but that didn’t happen, I’m also unlikely to finish writing the blog posts for this trip any time soon as I figure it’s better to travel around and experience things and try and remember what we did rather than take out too much time from travelling to try and stay up to date.  So I’ve still got a bit to go on India and Thailand (1995). Laying in bed sick in Luang Prabang, maybe a week ago now, does remind me of my visit to Varanasi, India in 1995, so I might as well do a bit on that, perhaps I’ll come back and fill in the gaps later, plus look at how many typos I have throughout this story. It’s not that I’m a bad speller it’s that I’m a terrible typer.

I’d come back from Jaipur and Pushkar to New Delhi and checked up on whether I could get a seat on a plane for Bangkok, but the Thai Airways people said I’d have to wait at least four more days (or it might have been 3), so I went to my travel man at the fancy hotel which I used to do number 2s to avoid the public toilets and asked him where I could go for a few days while I waited to see if I could get on the plane.

He said with a sideways nod of his head, ‘Varanasi is very shanti (peaceful)’.

‘Ok’, I said, ‘I’ll go there’. And he booked me on an overnight train to Varanasi. I arrived in Varanasi a bit before dawn and grabbed a motor rickshaw down to the Ganges River where I quickly haggled with a boat owner to take me out on the river. We were in the centre of the Ganges when the sun began to rise and its reddy/ orangey haze spread across the landscape. It was one of the most amazing experiences in my life.

The complete opposite of the slow boat trip from Huay Xi to Luang Prabang – again, in a late post I’ll explain how suck-full that is.

Back to the Songkran (Thai New Year) festival in Chiang Mai though!

Songkran Chiang Mai Thailand April 2023Songkran Chiang Mai Thailand April 2023

We travelled from Koh Chang to Trat and then flew from Trat to Bangkok. Had I known how much time we’d been waiting at Trat I would have just booked us a ticket on the bus to Bangkok as we ended up arriving late int he evening and having to spend a night in Bangkok, whereas if we’d taken the bus we probably could have arrived earlier in the afternoon and flown from Bangkok to Chiang Mai. Should have, could have, didn’t. In the end we arrived in Chiang Mai on the 12th of April. Once we’d settled in we explored the old walled area of the town, grabbed something to eat, visited a temple etc. We could see the preparations for Songkran were in full swing, but still didn’t quite know what to expect. I knew Songkran had something to do with water and water fights and generally getting wet. With the 38 plus degree days we had everyday it wasn’t something that sounded that bad. A bit of a cool down.

We saw buckets, water pistols, and plastic phone and wallet protectors on sale. There’s a manky looking moat around the walled city and along its edge people had buckets on strings that they could throw in a retrieve water.

Songkran Chiang Mai Thailand April 2023

‘Songkran doesn’t start until tomorrow’, I said to my wife, as we walked along the narrow paths at the edge of the road and the moat which were increasingly being taken over by stalls selling offensive water weaponry and defensive gear. It was looking ominous.

Even though Songkran wasn’t due to kick off until the next day, after three years of COVID shutdowns this year was obviously being highly anticipated by the Thais and there were many mischievous smiling faces about as we walked by, and indication of what was to come!

Songkran Chiang Mai Thailand April 2023Songkran Chiang Mai Thailand April 2023   Songkran Chiang Mai Thailand April 2023

So we basically just managed to get a bit of breakfast and visit one temple before we had our first, delicate wetting, I think it may have been a little kid with a bucket dripping some water on our back. We laughed and walked on, then we started to see more and more.

‘I think we need to go back to the hotel and prepare for this.’ I said to my wife. So we made our way back and yes, on the way we got a few more splashing. We got into our bathers and waterproofed our gear before heading out again in the afternoon.

Then the serious chaos began.

Basically every time we left the hotel in Chiang Mai for the next two days and headed anywhere near the main streets near the ancient walled city with the moat around it – if you visit you’ll see what I mean – we were totally drenched.

At first it was fun, just some light pouring of water down our back, then we’d get a few water pistols from kids, but then the whole buckets of water came out and we walked along dripping wet, my thongs squeaking with the water. Sometimes the buckets of water had ice in them, and even with the near 40 degree heat it felt cold. It didn’t stop, every step you took there was more water, and then more water. The only places you were safe were in the restaurants. And it wasn’t just locals, foreigners, often hanging out in the safety of the second floor of restaurants rained down barrages of water pistol fire. Those guys I’d have to say were the worst sort of pricks you can imagine, how is that remotely fair that you can fire water down on people and yet there is no way to retaliate. Every foreigner who does that needs to be dragged down and thrown into the moat, which looks quite feisty and toxic, and, which I may have said already, but it’s worth saying again, is retrieved by ropes and curets and dumped on people.

The streets looked as though torrential rain had hit, but every drop came form people’s water pistols or buckets. The only good thing about it was that you could hardly feel the heat, which is I guess why they have it at that time of year.

I think usually Songkran just lasts a couple of days, but this year, the pent up Sonoran festivities continued for days. The next day the level was even more intense, and the day after, when we were leaving for Chiang Rai, it looked as though the water fights continue unabated. There was some reprieve when you got into the back alleys away from he Main Street, but from where we were staying it was near impossible to go anywhere without encountering some water and henceforth walking around soaked.

songkran Chiang Mai Thailand 2023Songkran Chiang Mai Thailand 2023

There was a slightly religious element to the whole thing when we saw a Buddhist parade with floats with Buddha statues, where people were putting water on the Buddha as a cleansing thing, and the monks on the floats were offering water blessings onto the crowd. There were also Buddhist monks splashing water on people passing by the temples, and, out of respect, nobody returned fire (or water).

Sonkrang Chiang Mai thailand 2023songran Chiang Mai Thailand 2023

The rest, in my imagination, bore as much relation to the original festival as modern day Christmas shopping does to the birth of Jesus.

We did take a break down a backstreet where found a nice coffee shop. The Thais do really nice cold coffees now and it’s not too hard to find them around. We met one guy there from Syria and started chatting. He used to have a cafe in Syria.

‘But now, coffee is a luxury, no-one in Syria has money for such things’, he said. And, not seeing much hope in his own country, he applied for a visa for Thailand, which took some years but which he finally got. He missy have been good at making coffee because even an Australian in Syria who had visited his cafe, presumably some years earlier, had been impressed by his piccolo!

We were only in Chiang Mai for two nights (though arrived very early the first day, and late on the last day so had close to fours days there). We had planned to stay a bit longer, but changed our itinerary after we were told my wife – travelling on a Mexican passport – could only stay in Thailand for 15 say (see earlier post about visa-on-arrival hassles) and partly because some dodgy hotel on Booking.com cancelled one of our bookings after they realised it was Songkran and they could get much more money from tourists for the time – watch out for dodgy hotels on Booking.com, seems like the company does nothing to prevent fictions ratings and you soon discover that some of the worst places have a bunch of 10 star ratings from fake visitors from Russia, Sierra Leon, Greenland and Antartica (the last few I’m being facetious). I suggest just checking the worst ratings of a highly rated place. If there’s a bunch of 1s and people like why the hell do they have a 9 star rating, it’s because they’re fake. Usually a pretty good one still has a few bad rating of 3s, 5s, but not heaps and usually for trivia things. The 1 ratings are usually big warning signs! As is tonnes of 10 ratings! We also met a young French traveller on a day trip to Ayutthaya, near Bangkok, who really loved Chiang Rai so we decided to extend our time there a little.

I couldn’t tell you much more about Chiang Mai from Songkran as that absolutely dominated everything and it was impossible to see the ‘normal’ everyday life in Chiang Mai, due to the water wars. But on your first morning we went to a great French Cafe – the Chouquette bakery and cafe – which had fantastic coffee with almond milk and baguettes as good, or better as you get in Paris. But then when we went back the next day they had a sign saying it was closed for a week for Songkran.

As with the Songkran wars taking over our sightseeing in Chiang Mai, as the Syrian guy said, ‘If only the world fought with water rather than bombs, it would be a much better place’. And for two days at least we could still walk around and find great street food, even though we were always saturated. I stopped every afternoon for a few puffs of my joints from Bangkok (again Legal!) just away the water fights. It was nice to chill in that way, but it did also make me a little tired. Mexican weed is better – but generally not legal in most states there, oh, the irony of that. it beggars belief!

I certainly can’t disagree with the Syrian guy though, better to be shot and bombarded with water while being stoned than have the real thing make you leave your country for a better life elsewhere. Good luck to the guy, so greta he was still able to be resilient after all his experiences.

P.s. some of the hazy imagery here is not just due to the fact I still use an iPhone 8 or something like that, it’s also because you have to protect your phone with waterproof casing, which is sold everywhere and if you don’t want your phone destroyed buy it!.

And Happy Songkran to all!

Songkran Chiang Mai Thailand April 2023

Still in Pakbeng, Laos, writing about Koh Chang, Thailand. Just saw one of the elephants from the Mekong Elephant Park, across the Mekong from us going down and taking a dip in the river. It must be their male as it was alone and having been to the park yesterday they explained the male was the only one that would go down to the river by himself, with his ever present Mahout of course. Jeez those Mahouts are dedicated. But I’ll write more about the park later. Even though I wasn’t overly impressed by Koh Chang, I feel I should finish writing something about it acknowledging that my last post was probably a bit on the dull side. I spent a lot of time writing about getting money out of ATMs, but you know these are things you need to think about when travelling. Like here in Pakbeng, there’s 2 ATMs, both are not working and nobody, except maybe the hotels, takes cards. So if you wanna eat you need money. Luckily we had brought a few thousand Thai Baht with us to Laos which the guy at the Indian restaurant exchanged for Kip after we paid our dinner bill. It was a nice place actually, thinking of going back there for lunch. But back to Koh Chang. Our second day in Koh Chang we decided to head to Khlong Phlu Waterfall because it was April, and so f*cking hot and a waterfall has water in it. It cost us around 200 baht each way, maybe 150, can’t remember. It’s a great choice to spend your time in the heat. The taxi driver agreed she would come and collect us in 2 and a half hours, which was ample time to swim, sit, and for my wife to be covered in butterflies. There’s lots of little and quite big fishes there as well that like nibbling at your feet. Some gave quite a nip actually and it felt on occasions that big chunks of skin were being taken away. I had a wonderful on my leg caused by a fellow tourist a few days earlier who carelessly whacked his backpack into my leg as he got out of the shared taxi tuk tuk thingy which I can still make out on my leg here, maybe 10 days later, or something like that, I’ve lost track. Well the fish liked chomping on bits of my wound, not sure how hygienic that is but I kept applying my tea-tree ointment I brought from Australia to try and keep it from getting infected. Which it did! I also swear by tea-tree toothpaste when travelling as it helps to avoid bacterial infections. That’s about it for the waterfall, what else can you say about waterfalls,Khlong Phlu Waterfall, a bit of a hike from the carpark, maybe 800 metres, and it takes about 10-15 minutes to walk there. It costs around 200 baht each to get in as it’s a national park. There’s a few birds about, the water is nice and refreshing as opposed to the mostly warm waters you get at the beaches that time of year. And yeah, here’s another butterfly picture! We went back to Lonely Beach after, had some lunch, went up to the hotel, had another swim and more showers then headed back down into town to have dinner having to skirt around some angry dogs on the way. If the beaches of Koh Chang were a little disappointing – though I did certainly enjoy the Lonely Beach vibe much, much more than Klong Prao Beach – partly because Lonely Beach is not that easy to get to, and with no paths you either have to get yourself a moped to drive around (presumably stoned which is probably not advisable) or walk on the road to get there. There’s no long stretches of beaches down that way you can walk along. But, if you go early in the morning you can see monkeys though! Anyway when we decided we’d like to see the islands around Koh Chang, to see if they were any better – the reports being, yes they were. So we organised a snorkelling tour of four islands near Koh Chang for the next day. You can also do 5 islands, 3 islands etc. I’d say in the end it doesn’t matter what number you visit, they are all pretty much the same, and all very nice. I don’t think you’re really getting much more value by seeing 50 in a day. You get to snorkel at each of the 4 islands, or however many you pay for, and on one, don’t ask me the name of it, you have time to wander about on the island for about an hour. The typical tour thing where they’re rushing you about so they can tick off, yes you went to 4 places and they were all islands, so you can’t complain. But, if you’re expecting the oceans to be teaming with life then get ready to be disappointed. Which is where I come to part of the title of this blog entry: where’d the sharks, rays & turtles. Inspire dog course by Ween’s classic song Where’d the cheese go? (I don’t know). We have been to Queensland’s Heron Island, which is on the Great Barrier Reef. There we saw an abundance of coral, even though it’s been bleached and damaged a bit over the years with global warming. We also saw an abundance of fish, rays, turtles and sharks, including some cute baby sharks I was snorkelling with on the last day on the island. We even saw baby turtles hatching out of the sand and a mother turtle laying turtle eggs. You also have plenty of space to swim about and enjoy the reef just off of the coast. It’s a natural paradise. That’s not the experience you’ll get on the islands tour off of Koh Chang though. They gather tourists from all parts of Koh Chang in the morning and they ship them down to Bang Boa harbour – one thing you can certainly say about the Thais is that they are super efficient at herding tourists in tourist activities. – which is full of plastic waste by the way. There they fill up dozens of boats full of tourists and then ship them off to each snorkelling spot, and while you do see a lot of fish there’s nowhere near the biodiversity you’ll see in a truly natural spot like the Great Barrier Reef. There are no rays, no turtles, no sharks, the coral is super mangy and the water, at least at that time of year (April) is super hot, like tepid bath water. Also because they have so overexploited the area there is no concept of doing things in moderation and you end up getting crawled over by tourists trying to stay afloat. So all up, the scenery above the water is pretty nice and you’ll get your nice pics to post on instagram. But the snorkelling is very shit and honestly the Thai government needs to put some effort into controlling the exploitation of its natural resources, maybe limit the amount of people visiting the islands every day or setting aside more protected areas. Because whilst I do find sharks, rays and occasionally even turtles a bit freaky, they are indicators of a healthy ecosystem. And the bottom line is the islands they take you to around Koh Chang are far from healthy. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they get so overexploited that they won’t be worth visiting in years to come. Frankly they are barely worth visiting now. The day trip was pleasant. If you can, go visit a natural reef in Australia or one of the pacific islands if you want to truly explore nature. Well, that was our last day on Koh Chang. I wouldn’t bother going back again, though the waterfalls, and massages on Lonely Beach are nice.

Khlong Phu waterfall koh chang thailand

Still in Pakbeng, Laos, writing about Koh Chang, Thailand. Just saw one of the elephants from the Mekong Elephant Park, across the Mekong from us going down and taking a dip in the river. It must be their male as it was alone and having been to the park yesterday they explained the male was the only one that would go down to the river by himself, with his ever present Mahout of course. Jeez those Mahouts are dedicated. But I’ll write more about the park later. Even though I wasn’t overly impressed by Koh Chang, I feel I should finish writing something about it acknowledging that my last post was probably a bit on the dull side. I spent a lot of time writing about getting money out of ATMs, but you know these are things you need to think about when travelling. Like here in Pakbeng, there’s 2 ATMs, both are not working and nobody, except maybe the hotels, takes cards. So if you wanna eat you need money. Luckily we had brought a few thousand Thai Baht with us to Laos which the guy at the Indian restaurant exchanged for Kip after we paid our dinner bill. It was a nice place actually, thinking of going back there for lunch.

But back to Koh Chang.

butterfly Koh Chang Khlong Phu waterfall thailand

Our second day in Koh Chang we decided to head to Khlong Phlu Waterfall because it was April, and so f*cking hot and a waterfall has water in it. It cost us around 200 baht each way, maybe 150, can’t remember.

khlong phlu waterfall koh chang thailand

It’s a great choice to spend your time in the heat. The taxi driver agreed she would come and collect us in 2 and a half hours, which was ample time to swim, sit, and for my wife to be covered in butterflies. There’s lots of little and quite big fishes there as well that like nibbling at your feet. Some gave quite a nip actually and it felt on occasions that big chunks of skin were being taken away. I had a wonderful on my leg caused by a fellow tourist a few days earlier who carelessly whacked his backpack into my leg as he got out of the shared taxi tuk tuk thingy which I can still make out on my leg here, maybe 10 days later, or something like that, I’ve lost track. Well the fish liked chomping on bits of my wound, not sure how hygienic that is but I kept applying my tea-tree ointment I brought from Australia to try and keep it from getting infected. Which it did! I also swear by tea-tree toothpaste when travelling as it helps to avoid bacterial infections.

fish Khlong Phlu Waterfall Koh chang thailand

That’s about it for the waterfall, what else can you say about waterfalls,Khlong Phlu Waterfall, a bit of a hike from the carpark, maybe 800 metres, and it takes about 10-15 minutes to walk there. It costs around 200 baht each to get in as it’s a national park. There’s a few birds about, the water is nice and refreshing as opposed to the mostly warm waters you get at the beaches that time of year.

And yeah, here’s another butterfly picture!

butterfly boobs oblong phlu waterfall koh chang thailandbutterflies khlong phlu waterfall Thailand

We went back to Lonely Beach after, had some lunch, went up to the hotel, had another swim and more showers then headed back down into town to have dinner having to skirt around some angry dogs on the way.

If the beaches of Koh Chang were a little disappointing – though I did certainly enjoy the Lonely Beach vibe much, much more than Klong Prao Beach – partly because Lonely Beach is not that easy to get to, and with no paths you either have to get yourself a moped to drive around (presumably stoned which is probably not advisable) or walk on the road to get there. There’s no long stretches of beaches down that way you can walk along. But, if you go early in the morning you can see monkeys!

monkey on wire Koh Chang

Anyway when we decided we’d like to see the islands around Koh Chang, to see if they were any better – the reports being, yes they were. So we organised a snorkelling tour of four islands near Koh Chang for the next day. You can also do 5 islands, 3 islands etc. I’d say in the end it doesn’t matter what number you visit, they are all pretty much the same, and all very nice. I don’t think you’re really getting much more value by seeing 50 in a day.

Snorkelling Tours to Islands around Koh Chang

You get to snorkel at each of the 4 islands, or however many you pay for, and on one, don’t ask me the name of it, you have time to wander about on the island for about an hour. The typical tour thing where they’re rushing you about so they can tick off, yes you went to 4 places and they were all islands, so you can’t complain.

Snorkelling Tours to Islands around Koh ChangSnorkelling Tours to Islands around Koh Chang

But, if you’re expecting the oceans to be teaming with life then get ready to be disappointed. Which is where I come to part of the title of this blog entry: where’d the sharks, rays & turtles. Inspire dog course by Ween’s classic song Where’d the cheese go? (I don’t know). We have been to Queensland’s Heron Island, which is on the Great Barrier Reef. There we saw an abundance of coral, even though it’s been bleached and damaged a bit over the years with global warming. We also saw an abundance of fish, rays, turtles and sharks, including some cute baby sharks I was snorkelling with on the last day on the island. We even saw baby turtles hatching out of the sand and a mother turtle laying turtle eggs. You also have plenty of space to swim about and enjoy the reef just off of the coast. It’s a natural paradise.

That’s not the experience you’ll get on the islands tour off of Koh Chang though. They gather tourists from all parts of Koh Chang in the morning and they ship them down to Bang Boa harbour – one thing you can certainly say about the Thais is that they are super efficient at herding tourists in tourist activities.  – which is full of plastic waste by the way. There they fill up dozens of boats full of tourists and then ship them off to each snorkelling spot, and while you do see a lot of fish there’s nowhere near the biodiversity you’ll see in a truly natural spot like the Great Barrier Reef. There are no rays, no turtles, no sharks, the coral is super mangy and the water, at least at that time of year (April) is super hot, like tepid bath water.

Also because they have so overexploited the area there is no concept of doing things in moderation and you end up getting crawled over by tourists trying to stay afloat. So all up, the scenery above the water is pretty nice and you’ll get your nice pics to post on instagram. But the snorkelling is very shit and honestly the Thai government needs to put some effort into controlling the exploitation of its natural resources, maybe limit the amount of people visiting the islands every day or setting aside more protected areas.

Because whilst I do find sharks, rays and occasionally even turtles a bit freaky, they are indicators of a healthy ecosystem. And the bottom line is the islands they take you to around Koh Chang are far from healthy. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they get so overexploited that they won’t be worth visiting in years to come. Frankly they are barely worth visiting now.

The day trip was pleasant. If you can, go visit a natural reef in Australia or one of the pacific islands if you want to truly explore nature.

Well, that was our last day on Koh Chang. I wouldn’t bother going back again, though the waterfalls, and massages on Lonely Beach are nice.

Snorkelling Tours to Islands around Koh Chang

Juanito’s Travels 50 yr backpacker – Koh Chang, Lonely Beach, Massages & Koh Chang Seafood pt25

Koh Chang Seafood, Thailand

I’m having a chilled day in Pakbeng, Laos on the slow boat journey from Huay Xi to Luang Prabang, using the day to rest and catch-up on my blog.

In my last Juanito’s Travels post I spent more time on Ayutthaya than I did on Koh Chang. So now, Koh Chang.

Koh Chang - Lonely Beach

We stayed at Lonely Beach, at the Oasis Koh Chang, up a very steep hill, in amongst some wonderful nature. It’s towards the southern part of the island on the West coast where most of the tourist spots seem to be. Lonely Beach has a bit of a reputation for being a party place. On the short ferry crossing from the mainland we saw some young Germans coming off the barge smoking joints looking as though they hadn’t had much rest in days. The place does have its share of bars and the like but we were in bed by around 9 pm so couldn’t tell you much about that. At breaky I did see some tourists walking around who’d I’d seen the night before who looked like they’d been up all night on mushrooms or something. Weed is plentiful in the area, and I think mushrooms are not uncommon. Later in the day, a lady boy who was having a massage next to me on Lonely beach, who was as high as a kite at the time, pulled out a few bags of tiny white mushrooms that she showed to the masseur, not ones I’d seen before, somehow reminded me of the blue meanies from the Beatles song I can’t recall, or was it the Yellow Submarine movie. There was something Beatlish (circa the late 60s) about them.

We live 800 metres from one of the best beaches in the world on the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia. The beaches on Koh Chang, if you are into beaches at all, may disappoint a little. At the least ones we saw weren’t that amazing, but there’s a few that have their charm. On our first day we explored the island a little going up to Klong Prao Beach. It cost us maybe 200 baht to get up there, and we got dropped off at one of the resorts on the coast which we had to walk through to get to the beach. Up that way practically the only way to get to the beaches is through the resorts. The beaches were very average and we could see some nicer, sandier ones further north, so we walked along the beach in the 33/34 degree C heat which felt just as intense as the 38s and 39s we’d had in Bangkok, only to find there was a river in the way. We could see a nice looking bunch of restaurants across the way so we tried to find ways of early traversing the river but could not so we hired another taxi that we flagged down at a nearby resort to take us around to the restaurant area for another 150 baht.

EEE5395C-4B8B-43BD-A5E5-2BC4EF8D9CA0  4E63335B-0B00-4FE2-A525-15785C2A3B35726870E7-BE15-4564-AC09-8D58AAE5A650 koh chang seafood koh chang Thailand

The beaches weren’t great around there either. The water, at that time of year, was as refreshing on a hot day as one of those warm wet clothes they give you when you get onto a plane. You go from what feels like 38 degrees to what feels like 37.5 degrees. If you wade around a bit you find a few cooler currents that refresh for a few minutes. Getting wet does help with the heat. Underwhelmed by our swim, though happy to have finally gotten into the water, especially me who made my wife walk all that way in the heat to try and find a nice spot on the beach, we smoked a quarter of a joint and made our way to Koh Chang Seafood (ร้าน ๒๔๘๘ 21/80 ทางเข้า Ko Chang District, Trat 23170, Thailand), which is just by the river. The seafood there was worth the hike. I had a seafood Tom Yum and my wife had the fish with Thai herbs. The Tom Yum was f*cking amaaaazing, and the restaurant was in a nice little location on the inlet, so really worth a detour to get there. I’m going to give it two Michelin stars, because of course I am authorised to do that. After a superb lunch, and my wife satisfied that we’d gotten wet and fed, we walked further up Klong Prao Beach, as there was a little town area we’d seen on the map where we could get more Baht. Although a little nicer, it was also disappointing up that way as well as every bit of beachfront was taken over by resorts so none of the usual massages, bars and restaurants that I previously remember in Thailand. Mind you, the last time I’d been on a Thai island was back in 1995, where I stayed at Koh Samed (or Koh Samet), that was a pretty little island that I might try again some day. Don’t know if this place still exists but it was in a pretty spot with nice beaches and turquoise water in the north. Not super developed in 1995, I suspect it’s changed a bit since then.

tuk tuk Koh chang

Anyhow, after we struggled with several ATMs to work out which account we had money in with one, Bangkok Bank saying we had no money. We got charged like $2 AUD each time we stuck a card in, and were afraid we’d spend all our money on fees before we got any actual cash, but we ended up working out we had to do a balance enquiry first to work out which account the ATM thought we had money in, could be credit, could be default, I think once it was in the savings account. We got enough baht for the rest of the trip once we’d figured all that out and then made our way back up to Lonely Beach by another taxi – more or a tuk tuk, shared taxi thing with bench seats and a little roof overhead to shade us and chuck luggage up on when needed. It cost us maybe 150 baht more, so apart from the Koh Chang Seafood restaurant I didn’t see a point in ever going back to Klong Prao Beach ever in my life again. I won’t bother with Koh Chang ever again either but there’s a few charms to the place, nothing worth going out of the way for though, in my opinion.

Once back at Lonely Beach we made our way to the beach area there. It was around high tide, but just like Klong Prao Beach we had to access it through one of the resorts. But unlike Klong Prao Beach there were beachside bars and restaurants and most importantly several massage places. So we should have saved the taxi fares and just wandered down to Lonely Beach, and then gotten a taxi direct to Koh Chang Seafood. Go to Koh Chang Seafood though! It’s worth a detour and they don’t give me any money for that endorsement for what it’s worth!

It was high tide so the back looked pretty nice. There were rocks along the shore you had to navigate, but once over them it was fairly shallow and calm, at least on the day we went. The water was the same, hot with a few patches of slightly cooler water. We hired ourselves a few beach chairs for 50 baht each and sat drinking beers and soft drinks. I got myself an hour-long Thai massage with oil for 350 baht I think. Next to the lady boy who had some sort of half day face treatment, massage and the works. Being stoned the massage felt good, no happy endings, but got a good all over rub. The mattresses we had were hard as rocks so it was good to get some neck action in the end. The lady boy wouldn’t shut up, but she was more entertaining than annoying. Super funny.

massage lonely beach Koh chang

After getting our 50 baht’s worth from the beach chair and settling our bull with the massage place for the soft drinks, waters and beers, we maybe smoke a little more weed, who knows, and walked up the beach 15 metres to a restaurant and had some pretty decent Pad Thai, and maybe something else, I think I might have convinced my wife to get a Tom Yum. Yeah, a bit stoned, but hazy on details but remember nice food. We watched the sunset from the restaurant before heading back to the hotel for a swim, catching up on social media, another shower, and then bed.

lonely beach Koh chang Thailand

 

Juanito’s Travels 50 yr backpacker – Ayutthaya, near Bangkok to Lonely Beach, Koh Chang pt24

 

Ayutthaya Thailand

It’s our last day in Koh Chang (the picture above is Ayutthaya, Bangkok, just so you’re aware, I’m trying to right about now, and the last few days, and I’m doing it over several days so even I’m confused, so good luck to you!) we’ve been staying at the Oasis hotel up a very steep hill (if you stay here, and it is wonderful! make sure the bloody taxi driver will take your luggage up the hill, it almost killed us as we haven’t exactly packed light given we’re heading right round the world), perched close to the jungle. We’ve had a shower in our outdoor bathroom and were lucky to see some monkeys foraging this morning. One in our neighbour’s rubbish bin. They ransacked ours a few nights ago to find old chocolate wrappers (view from the bathroom below).

Oasis Lonely Beach Koh Chang

We’re waiting for our taxi to take us up the road to the ferry and then across to Trat where we’re flying to Bangkok to stay the night and then head to Chiang Mai. Our Chiang Mai leg has been growing smaller and smaller. Originally scheduled for four nights, we’re now there for just two nights as we had to cut our stay in Thailand a bit shorter due to my wife, who is travelling on her Mexican passport,  only being allowed a 15 day visa. I also thought I’d booked a flight from Trat (closest airport to Koh Chang) to Bangkok and then onto Chiang Mai in the one day. Turns out I accidentally booked an overnight stay in Bangkok, so there you go, poor old Chiang Mai is down to two nights. So much for plans, this has totally left my google sheet spreadsheet in disarray. But as my friend Howie says, ahhh… all wonderful things to worry about – spending more time in Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai or Luang Prabang? Well, we’re now in Bangkok again! Kind of doing the time jump thing they do in the movies with LATER. And also the ‘A few days earlier’ thing, as I haven’t even really mentioned Ayutthaya.

A Few Days Earlier

ayutthaya buddhia statue thailand

Ayutthaya. We went on a day trip to Ayutthaya. It was very, very spectacular. Also very, very hot. Still around 38 degrees C max. Sometimes it became unbearable and I’d just find a sprinkler, that the gardener had on to try and keep the grass green, to stand under. Ayutthaya is a large site, spread out over what seems a few kilometres. It used to be the old capital – there may have been several old capitals as I think I heard the same of Sukhothai – which we’re not visiting now due to time limitations. We travelled by mini bus between the locations and had a wonderful bunch of people with us. There was a French woman Jenane, or Jeneane, something Jenish, who was travelling with her parents for a bit after being in Laos, Malaysia and a bunch of places. She gave us good tips for Laos and also northern Thailand, which meant we decided to spend a few more days in. Chiang Rai and Luang Prabang, and potentially skip the town of Vang Vieng altogether as she described it as a ‘bunch of concrete’ and a place where your scooter will get stolen with great frequency and gay abandon. It’s 6.51 a.m, and we’ve been up since 5 a.m. so my metaphors or whatever you call those describing things are worse than usual.

Ayutthaya Buddha statue Thailand

We also had Pad, or Patricia, on our trip. She was from a small village in Spain – the glam instagram type – like us. She didn’t even have a hat. Not sure how she survived the day. We had good chats with both Jeneane and Pad, and also a few words with some Venezuelans. Good for my wife to be able to speak Spanish with people.

I’ve put some pictures of Ayutthaya around the page – you’ll have to guess which ones are Ayutthaya and which ones are Koh Chang. It’s such an easy trip to organise from Bangkok (Ayutthaya not Koh Chang which is a 7 hour plus bus and boat trip which usually leaves Khaosan Road around 5am) and we paid around 600 baht each, including a fairly decent basic lunch. The highlight on all the tourist brochures of Lord Buddha’s head in a tree is a little underwhelming and the guard there is constantly having to tell women to cover their shoulders in respect for the Buddha and all genders to sit and not stand when taking a photo with the enlightened one. I enjoyed climbing the temples, which I might post on my instagram so I can do a story or video, which I don’t seem to be able to do with my blog posts. I have one where I’m casually strolling up the steps which was an ominous sign as on the way down with the heat and loss of salt and potassium and the like my legs cramped something horrid. Bring bananas and electrolytes on those scorching days! I also enjoyed the well thing at one site where you drop money down for good luck, see below. In any weather it’s well worth a trip. But if you have a choice, don’t go in April, or probably September, but at least in September you’re likely to get a refreshing drenching of rain, where in April you will be slowly baked over the course of the day.

ayutthaya thailandwishing well Ayutthaya Thailand

A Few Days Later – and 28 years earlier

So I’m back now, sitting at Bangkok airport waiting for the plane to Chiang Mai after spending a few days on Koh Chang. Koh Chang was interesting, for me not amazing, I remember my first trip to Thailand in 1995 (which I said I’d park mention of until the end of this 50 year backpacker trip, though it may pop up organically from time to t time) where I visited Koh Samet which was a cute and fairly quiet island (at least back then) with crystal clear water and isolated beaches, where I had to swim in my underwear as I hadn’t packed any bathers or traje de baños as I call them now. Where I rocked up without a booking and ended up sharing a room with an American girl I’d met on the boat, and where I ended up cold sleeping on the floor as I was a gentleman and gave up the bed for my travelling companion, and I’d left my sleeping bag in India to save weight as I figured Thailand was so hot that I wouldn’t need it, and yes, when I had visited Thailand in March that would have been true but in December when I visited the 2nd time, and then, it is cold at night. Back in 1995 when the American’s friend arrived we found a nice quiet beach in the north where we got separate cabins, and for me, at least enough bedding to stop me from freezing.

I still have the card from that place:

bungalow tubtim koh samed thailand

In April 2023, freezing was not an issue on Koh Chang. Very sweaty, and it was the one time we booked a hotel without air conditioning. And I have to pause writing this blog as we now have to board the plane, lucky my wife is paying attention as I’d just sit here typing away until they called my name to make me come on board.

To be continued…



Juanito’s Travels 50 yr backpacker – Bangkok Grand Palace, Buddha give me strength & buying weed legal pt23

lotus flower grand palace BangkokI’ll put a bit of a pause on trying to catch up on my 1995 journey, I’m almost there with India, just got Varanasi to go, but I’d like to focus on where we’re at right now – Thailand.

Well, we’re on the Island of Koh Chang, in some jungle restaurant where our very basic jungle bungalow is, listening to bird and monkey sounds, with a relatively cool breeze (especially compared to the hellish April heat of Bangkok) recovering from a night of BBQ, weed and massage after spending a few days in Bangkok visiting the temples of Wat Phra Kaew (AKA the Temple of the Emerald Buddha), Wat Pho (temple of the reclining Buddha) and Wat Arun, then a day trip to Ayutthaya plus the Lollipop Marijuana Dispensary around Khao San Road.

That sentence probably needed a few full stops.

So Bangkok. It’s flipping hot in April. 38 degrees maximums everyday we were there with the temperature barely getting below 28 any night. Who is crazy enough to travel to Thailand at this time of year? Looking around, there were plenty of us!

Our first day we headed to Wat Phra Kaew (Temple of the Emerald Buddha – but also includes the Grand Palace). Despite the heat, it literally blew our minds. We managed to accidentally time it so we could start a free tour at 10 am. But before even getting into the temple we had to cover up to show respect to the holy location. My wife was fine with her shirt and long pants, but I, with my shorts, had to buy the common Thai elephant pants you see tourists everywhere wearing to temples. You can buy these just inside the gate for 200 baht, you can get them cheaper at the nearby markets along the river so perhaps drop off there  first if you want to save yourself 50-80 baht. You can get hats there as well, which I wished I’d done before going on the two-hour tour, the top of my head has never baked so much in the sun, it felt like a cheese toastie under a grill. I had to run between the temple buildings, seeking what little shade I could.

Many superlatives for Wat Phra Kaew, being Bangkok’s number one tourist attraction there’s little I have to add apart from a few pictures I have here. There’s more on my instagram:  greenpaddocks.

wat phra kaew - emerald buddhawat phra kaew - emerald buddha, Bangkok

The next day we headed to Wat Pho (temple of the reclining Buddha) and Wat Arun – which is across the river from Wat Pho. Wat Phra Kaew and Wat Pho are pretty close to each other, and an easy walk (not so easy in the heat mind you) and ferry ride from Khao San Road. Then the ferry should cost around 30 Baht each and you can get tickets from the wares, just tell them where you want to go and hand over the cash and they sort you out on the right boat. Can’t remember the name of the pier closest to Khaosan Road and it’s hidden away down a little alleyway so good luck finding it! Best to search the directions on google maps then zoom in on the river for your closest stop. My wife says it’s stop 13! And the stop for Wat Phra Kaew is possibly number 9, like that great Yoko Ono/ John Lennon song, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9.

The temple of the Emerald Buddha is a place of quiet contemplation. One of the few places you can’t take photos so you can just sit quietly and look at the walls and the very small emerald Buddha. I find I get a lot more out of just looking than taking photos (I have a complaint about the attitude of others further down!). The thing to remember at these temples is that they are actively used by the Thai, so in amongst the tour groups and millions of cameras you also have Thai Buddhists coming along to take refuge in the Buddha, in the Sangha, in the Damma (the Buddha, community and the truth as told by the Buddha).

The next day we headed to the reclining Buddha, Wat Pho. Again with the photos I won’t sort them out yet as we took heaps of live pictures and they don’t upload easy, again, check out my Instagram page/ site, whatever you call it.

At Wat Pho, I first went to the toilet, which is usually uneventful, but this time I walked in and stood at the urinal and suddenly some dude was massaging the back of my neck, I was halfway through peeing so I didn’t stop and turn around until I was done and there was some guy asking for money. Now it should be red flags when a guy comes up and massages you in the toilet while you’re doing a pee. And yes, the guy was searching my backpack as I peed which I didn’t notice until I went out, he didn’t find anything but bottles of water. So, word of advice, don’t keep anything more valuable in your backpack than bottles of water, and, perhaps more importantly, before you go for a pee – guys of course but similar for women – check that there is no one else in the toilets, just have a quick scan, and then if you’re a guy peeing while standing, pee so you can see the rest of the toilets. Look, the massage was pretty good so I’m not sure why the pickpocketing thief doesn’t just go get a legit job doing that, but anyway, life choices. We watched the guy following many other tourists in the morning from behind trying to get into their backpacks, so, just water and clothes in backpacks, no wallets, money, phones – because one day you’ll be tired and you’ll turn and before you know it, it’ll be gone! Impermanence, just like the Buddha said!

Like Wat Phra Kaew there are active temples used by Thai Buddhists. My wife and I sat there at one in Wat Pho where buddhist monks were chanting and praying, but unlike Wat Phra Kaew’s temple of the Emerald Buddha, you can take photos at this place, so after a few minutes of peace we had people barging in, cameras already going filming video blogs, taking photos, including with very noisy cameras. The monks didn’t seem to be disturbed, but, Buddha give me strength, I found the whole thing annoying and when a tourist fresh from a cruise ship stood over me ignoring my presence below I pushed him off and waved him away. He didn’t care, the photo is more important. Before I blew my top in front of the Buddha I ran out and waited outside while my wife continued her quiet contemplation.

I had a similar experience in the hall containing the giant golden reclining Buddha. I was standing quietly contemplating the statue, as far into a corner I could be, when a German guy, fresh off a giant cruise ship said, ‘can you please move? I want to take a photo’, and I shrugged my shoulders and said, ‘no, I came to look, not take photos’, and very sarcastically the guy said ‘thanks’, his face reflecting the tragedy of not getting a photo. Tourists suck, including me. One day into our round the world tour and I can see we can see photos are what’s driving us now and we can’t enjoy things without getting a pic. The more ‘no photo’ signs around the better.

I’m in no way superior to these run in and click and run out type of tourists. I know the people I find annoying are just people not necessarily trying to be annoying, they are just people trying to take millions and millions of photos without looking at a single thing. It’s not exactly a new phenomenon, and I need to learn patience. This is just the world. As they said in my vipassana meditation courses. You can either complain about the heat, or you can take out an umbrella and protect yourself from the sun. Still rules to help us all enhance our travel experiences without always trying to catch it forever, wouldn’t go astray. Everything is impermanent, these words, your pictures, ourselves. We all arise and then pass away. Not accepting impermanence  leads to people like me being annoyed at tourists in front of golden Buddha statues and people like the German being annoyed at people like me who won’t step out of the way of a golden Buddha for him to take a photo with his wife in front of the golden Buddha because he’s rushing around for the three hours the giant tour ship give him in Bangkok. And I got a great photo of the giant Buddha without anyone in front of it ;).

reclining buddha wat pho, Bangkok

And with that display of hypocrisy, and attempt at insight, that’s almost as much blogging as I’ll do today. Later in the day, like I flagged above, I went to the Lollipop Marijuana Dispensary and bought marijuana for the first time in my life – legally! That’s a big leap from the Buddist musings and breaks one of the five central precepts of Buddhism: abstaining from getting intoxicated. I know, I know. I’ll work on it. But from a law and order perspective legalising weed is a good move. Being the son of an alcoholic I can tell you legally available alcohol causes many more problems than weed. But just as I wouldn’t support banning beer, I don’t support banning weed. Back in 1995 I could have been thrown in jail for smoking weed. Too many people have gone to jail for smoking and selling weed. Sure, regulate it but use your resources for better things. We have ways of living like Buddhism and its five precepts, which are, roughly: abstain from killing; abstain from stealing; abstain from lying (and gossiping); abstain from sexual misconduct; and yes, abstain from getting intoxicated! These are great, and some are much easier to keep than others, like the first four ones – apart from gossiping, I looooove to gossip – but you know, for sure give up drinking and smoking weed, but we’ve seen what problems we have when we make these things completely illegal! We’re not perfect. 

And here’s a plug for Lollipop! Great service at a reasonable price! And again, applause to the Thai government for trying something different, I hope despite some teething problems they continue allowing recreational weed use with strict regulations!

lollipop marijuana Bangkok khoa san road

The next evening, after our day trip to Ayutthaya, I got stoned and posted pictures of myself on Instagram buying weed, because you know what, it’s legal, so go blow it out your bum if you’re worried LOL 😉 I’ll write more about Ayutthaya and Koh Chang in the next few blogs, and I may, at some stage, get around to finishing off the earlier 1995 blog about India, and also my last time in Thailand on an Island. Mental note for me as I’m liable to forget.

Juanito’s Travels 50 yr backpacker – Pushkar, India 1995 & Bangkok 2023, Mexican visas & changing plans pt22

In 2023

My ambition to have finished writing about my 1995 trip before starting my actual 50 year backpackers hasn’t eventuated and I find myself in Bangkok, Thailand, by a swimming pool, polishing off a Chang beer bought from the 7/11 for just 39 baht kept cool by my Bernie’s Kai Kai, Torres Strait Islander stubby holder I brought with me for just such occasions, with a MacBook in my lap not even 24 hours into our round-the-world trip, aka the Gira Mundial , which started with a few rough patches at Bangkok airport when we tried to get a visa on arrival for my wife who is travelling on her Mexican passport.

bernie's kai kai stubby holder

Our research showed that she should be able to get a visa on arrival in Thailand for 30 days and we based our plans around that. It turns out it’s not as easy as that. Firstly Mexicans travelling on their Mexican passport can only get 15 day visas for Thailand and also need to show an exciting plane ticket. I was ok as I am travelling on my Australian passport which means I get 30 days on arrival without filling in any forms. But of course I can’t leave my wife!!! After much convincing that we would indeed leave  after 15 days to go to Laos by bus, the immigration guy stamped my wife’s form and she got her visa. Luckily we have e-visas for our remaining South-East Asian countries (Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia) and the Laos one didn’t specify a date of entry so we could go there a bit earlier than we planned so my wife can be within the 15 day visa timeframe. Which, the immigration guy reiterated, must be kept otherwise we’d have to pay 500 baht per day of the overstay. The visa-on-arrival costs around 2200 for Mexicans. We had planned to visit Thailand for 5 more days, so the penalty would only cost slightly more than getting another visa-on-arrival and keep to our original itinerary, which I did contemplate, but my wife is very much the stickler for rules, so in the end, we’re going to Laos 5 days earlier than we had planned.

But that was yesterday. Today we’re lounging about on poolside deckchairs after having spent the morning at Wat Phra Kaew and the Grand Palace looking at the most amazing architecture you could ever imagine. Dazzled by the beauty with every turn of the head, sitting in front of the Emerald Buddha not allowed to take photos just contemplating the room, and the littler Emerald Buddha that dominates the place even though it’s only around 60cm tall. Then wandering some Bangkok riverside markets, tasting the most sublime chicken red curry you can imagine, buying a hat for myself, which was sorely missed in the hellish heat on April in Bangkok – it’ll be over 38 every day we’re here and even though I wore a shirt down to the pool I can’t bear to have one on even as I type. Not trying to convey some sexy image, just can only wear the bare minimum amount of clothing at present to retain the socially accepted level of decency at a venue frequented by all ages. Also pretty desperate for a swim, but waiting till I do a bit more of my blog so I don’t feel I’m too far behind with it for the remainder of the journey. But anyway, such a wonderful, though almost hellishly hot day makes the visa troubles and the long flight, and everything worth it! And once through immigration, even though we were zombified level tired, we still managed to get a SIM card, book a Grab taxi, get to our hotel and all that without being totally ripped off – as I had been on my first trip to Thailand. Interestingly enough they still, 27-28 years later, have warning signs about people in regards to gem scams. I guess the model still works, why fix it!

Anyway, back in 1995, in India, on the way to Thailand, but still a few more days away (back then)…

In the morning I went over to the Belgian couple’s, who I’d shared the elephant ride with the day before, at the hotel. As I said, they had their own driver whom they offered to drive me to the bird sanctuary. Well, in the morning I rocked up to their hotel and they informed me that the driver had been annoyed that they diverted from their plans and had gone to Jaipur where he had had to sleep in his car, so he was pissed and was refusing to take som chippy with him in the car. So, at the last moment, the plans were changed, I wasn’t going to the Bird Sanctuary and had to find a plan B, or just stay in Jaipur, I guess, but I didn’t even contemplate it at the time.

The only other idea I had was from Steve who had mentioned Pushkar, so I just said thanks to the Belgians and good luck and I headed with my backpack straight to the bus station and made my way to Pushkar. Which you can read about here so I won’t elaborate any further. But for me, in 2023, I’ve almost caught up with my 1995 trip! Just one more leg (apart from Pushkar to go!) which I’ll make a new post for in the coming days while also trying to keep up to date with the actual, as it is happening now (or at least when I’m writing) Juanito’s Travels, 50 year backpacker trip AKA el Gira Mundial!!

And I will even start doing some more photos! Though the mystery of the written word without the millions of pics has something going for it as well. We have definitely lost the art of looking and reflecting now we can outsource our pictorial memories to our cameras. Our camera phones both promote mass tourism and will also be the death of the places we visit, if we’re not careful. Us humans are historically rarely careful enough though.

Wat Phra Kaewroyal palace Bangkokgrand palace BangkokAnd yes, the pants are super que fashion!

Juanito’s Travels 50 yr backpacker – 1995 Jaipur. Rajasthan, India, this guy Steve from Australia, a Belgian couple, elephant rides and a dead tiger on a floor, pt21

1995

I was woken just before dawn by the conductor. They were so efficient these Indians, and super polite, I was constantly feeling like a regal gentleman, even though I was clearly a hippy with just a few dollars to his name. “Mr Royston, your stop is soon”, he said. And I woke up and looked out the window at the pre dawn light as we pulled closer to Jaipur and the Indian guy scoured and the British guy remained sound asleep.

Maybe 20 minutes later I was outside looking for a rickshaw to take me to meet Steve, who wanted me to meet him at another cheaper place he was staying by himself before we headed to the place he’d read about in his Lonely Planet that he invited me to come along to so he could share the cost. He’d written down the address of the place he was staying on a bit of paper which I unscrambled and explained to the auto rickshaw driver.

There was hardly anybody on the roads at this time. It was dusty. the place was just waking up. The cows were sitting under trees. People slept out in the open here and there. The pedal rickshaw driver drove around a bit past a few crossings and then back down some of the same street until I eventually spotted the name of the hotel Steve had told me about and got him to stop there.

I was barely able to stay awake. I sat around in the garden of the hotel under some trees with monkeys in them, clutching anything small enough for the monkeys to take as they would take it if you turned your eyes for a few seconds. The hotel had a bit of a restaurant happening outside. I was hungry and ordered some chai and whatever else they had on offer, perhaps some more chapatis, or even corn flakes and yoghurt. Steve showed up in a bit and looked up at the monkeys. “I hate those monkeys, they take anything”. He has remained as charming as when I first met him in New Delhi. He had his bags ready, he seemed pretty confident I was going to come. I wasn’t too fussed to be there, but Jaipur was an improvement on New Delhi in terms of the sound, and even had more trees and the like. It was almost suburban where we were.

We made our way to the famous hotel from Lonely Planet. I just wanted to sleep. When checking in I kept yawning.

“Cover your mouth when you yawn”, the man at reception barked.

“What, sorry, I have been travelling all night.”

“Only illiterate people don’t cover their mouth when they yawn”, he said.

‘Sorry”, I said. A few moments later, I yawned again and was so tired I forgot to raise my hand to my mouth in time. This time the guys just glared at me. We got the keys and I went sheepishly off to the room.

The room had two beds and I immediately lay down on mine after taking my shoes off and just lay and rested. Steve asked what I was going to see in Jaipur.

“I dunno”, I said, “I don’t have any guidebook or anything, I wasn’t really planning on being in India at all, so no idea, I’m gonna rest a bit first before doing anything.”

“I’m going to go to look around a bit.”

I waved him off and got in maybe a half hour power nap which left me slightly more refreshed. I got up and looked around the hotel. It had a beautiful garden that included a peacock and some fine roses. It was kind of fancy, much more than I’d be able to afford anywhere else in the world. Still it was a bit of a stretch in my meagre budget so I could only do a maximum of 2 nights there I figured.

I found Steve in the garden smoking a cigarette and drinking some chai. I sat down at the table with him. He had his Lonely Planet sitting next to him on the table closed. I pointed to it.

“Do you mind if I take a look at your guide?” I asked.

He looked at me as though I had asked him to donate a kidney. “You should have bought your own rather than bludge off someone else”.

“Woh, ok” I said. Not sure what distorted sort of childhood this guy Steve had but anyway I wasn’t going to argue.

Steve seems to regret his outburst and a minute or so later tries to explain himself. “I met a lot of people with no money in India, trying to take advantage, that’s all”.

“Up to you mate, I don’t mind”. I said. It’s funny the things that stick in your head over the decades, like some guy called Steve who wouldn’t lend me a Lonely Planet, while so many other details are lost.

He was a weird one that Steve. I got up and went back to the room to freshen up. What I really wanted was a shower. I didn’t have the energy to engage with Steve over his fancy Lonely Planet book. I had a prejudice against Lonely Planet, in my mind it wasn’t for real travellers anyway. Real travellers just went with the flow. In 2023 I’ve drawn on them extensively because they provide some great tips. I even contributed to one, helping edit the Ireland guide (I think in 1997) while doing a placement for my university writing and editing course.

But back in 1995, I had a shower and got into some fresh clothes, it always seems like a layer or dirt was scraped off your body whenever you showered in India. There was just so much dust, and in New Delhi the added smog. It will be an amazing transition when they have electric auto rickshaws and electric cars zooming around the streets.

I sat back down on my bed. Steve came in a bit later. He apologised and handed me the Lonely Planet guide to have a look at. I wasn’t too proud to take it and flicked through for some ideas as to what to do for the day. I saw there was a fort on a hill outside of town.

“This Amber Fort sounds good”, I said.

“I went there yesterday”, said Steve.

“Cool, well I might head off there. Do you want to catch up for dinner late for something.”

“Sure”, said Steve.

After a bit more resting I made my way to the fort. Jaipur was a pretty pretty city (the first pretty used in the sense of quite – when I travelled with Corinne years earlier she was struck by the phrase ‘pretty ugly’ thinking it must mean pretty and ugly at the same time, rather than quite ugly. In some ways Jaipur was also pretty ugly. It had beautiful buildings dominated by this marvellous pink colour but also its ugly side, rubbish, dust, grime, a wall where men just pissed out in the open and the urine ran between their legs into the gutter. Of course it also had its cows, I loved the cows.

When I got to the fort I spotted a line for elephants which were taking people to the top of the hill to visit the fort. In 2023 I’m more aware of the welfare of elephants, and my wife and I are planning a trip to an ethical, non-riding, elephant sanctuary in Laos. Back in 1995 I was super keen to jump on the back of one and make my way up the hill like a Raj on a tiger hunt. And it only cost around 120 rupee return – about a $1.20AUD maybe, based on more recent exchange rates.

The line was kind of like those at a theme park where they had to fill a carriage and they have a spare seat and they yell out for anyone who is there by themselves, like they sometimes do on lines to get on roller coasters at Movie World and other theme parks on the Gold Coast. A couple had climbed onto an elephant and were waiting to depart. The mahout called me up and asked whether I wanted to ride with the couple.

“Is that ok with you guys?” I asked the couple.

“Yes, that is fine.” they replied.

So I climbed on and we rocked back and forth, and side to side, as we went slowly up the hill. As soon as the elephant had departed there were at least two hawkers, who seemed to be officially assigned to the elephant, who tried to sell their wares on the way up the hill, yelling offer after offer. One was selling bracelets, scarves and other knick knacks, the other string puppets. I had no room,  or interest, for either in my backpack but ignoring them, saying no, saying I wasn’t interested had zero effect on them, they were like super-hero level hawkers in India and the word ‘no’ had no effect on them, only a sale would stop them. At least the puppet man, who followed us the whole way up the hill. I think he started trying to sell the puppets for 400 rupees and by the time we’d gotten to the top was offering them to us for 200, or maybe even 100. It is like when you go to the supermarket and you see all these signs everywhere saying everything’s 50% off. Yeah, that’s only because you jack up the prices by 50% first every now and again. I’m sure this guy went on to be a consultant for Coles and Woolworths.

The couple I was sharing the elephant with ended up being Belgian. Well they also started off being Belgian. They didn’t suddenly change as they went up the hill in line with the puppet prices, perhaps starting as Swedish and working their way down through Denmark and Holland until they declared they were actually Belgian. That’s no reflection on the value of Belgians, and these ones were very, very nice. They were newlyweds and had decided to go on a trip to India for their honeymoon. They were smiley and very friendly and we chatted about our trips and where we were off to next. They had a plan to visit some bird sanctuary and of course I had no freakin idea.

In 2023 my wife and I listened to a podcast from some newlyweds who were commercialising their love by making a podcast about their honeymoon. The episode was about Chiang Mai, and they kept mentioning they were newlyweds and that they had met other newlyweds and blah, blah, blah, the usual inane shit. My wife and I are constantly on honeymoon and we don’t go making podcasts about it. I did start this blog though I guess, but that’s different. I don’t think anyone reads it and I’m merely hoping for posthumous fame, like Franz Kafka when they discovered his work and published it. It was genius. That’s all I want, people to find this when I die and say, wow, he was a genius. So just after vanity not money. I do have my principles.

I don’t remember a great deal about the Amber Fort. I guess that’s why, in 2023 we take millions of photos of everything, so we can look back and look at them and say, oh yeah, I must have visited this place and that place because I have all these photos of it. Back then in 1995, I just experienced the place, and for the most part left that back in the 90s. I do remember some room of mirrors and some beautiful architecture, and sitting and looking out at the value below looking at the view, the reddy soil, the acacias, the vultures riding the thermal winds, and the monkeys scurrying over the Parapets, the tourists walking through the place taking photos. I think I was too tired to take it all at the time. Though that happens sometimes, when you visit places. When I went to Italy with my daughter we visited Pompeii, which is amazing, but we just wandered the streets aimlessly and were kinda too tired to see how amazing it was. That’s travel.

After our fort tour, the Belgians and I got back on our elephant and headed back down the hill, with several more hawkers in tow. At the bottom, I went and bought the elephant a mango and fed it to her and patted her trunk. She didn’t seem too unhappy, no less unhappy than many of the poor Indians in India at the time. Just trying to survive. The Belgians invited me back to their hotel for a drink. I was like sure. We headed back.

Wow, these Belgians were staying at a super fancy place. It was quite literally an ex palace of a Raj. They showed me their room – don’t worry this is a g-rated blog and this is not about to degenerate into some sordid offer a threesome with the newlyweds. They were, and as far as I know still, happily married. They were just being nice and Belgian – I don’t think I’ve met any other Belgians so I’m assuming their whole country is full of nice people. Whether or not they are into threesomes, I don’t know, it’s not for me to judge, and if they are it doesn’t in any way diminish their niceness. Anyway they had a fancy four poster bed and even a real dead tiger as a carpet on the floor.

Ok it was a real dead tiger, I think it had been dead for quite some time and when it was killed attitudes were very different, so I’m not sure why you would throw out a perfectly good dead tiger skin. And besides, India has recently reintroduced cheetahs back into India and the cheetahs are even having babies, so let’s focus not he presence. I must admit the tiger did look freaking awesome.

The Belgians seemed cornered that I had no plans so they offered to take me with them to the bird sanctuary they were visiting the next day. They had hired their own personal driver so they could offer me a seat there. I was like sure and we agreed to meet the next day.

I went back to the hotel and Steve and I went out for dinner. I told him of the elephant ride and the plan to go to the bird sanctuary. He said, ‘looking at some birds is a waste of time’. I’m not sure what his plans were, I think he may have mentioned that he was going to Pushkar or something before heading back to New Delhi and back to Australia.

We chatted a bit more and ate some more dhal and chapatis. Steve went on about how grubby India was, he didn’t like the place, the rubbish in the streets, the peeing wall, the constant hassling of the hawkers. To an extent I agree, the intensity of the place was driving me a bit crazy as well. But Steve, he really hated the place, I just found it tough to handle. Steve had a greater appetite than mine and ordered around 6-7 chapatis to my 2-3. We went back to the hotel, and the next day went our own ways.

When I got back to Australia I looked up Steve. I rang up his house and his mum answered. She told me he’d killed himself. Seems he’d gone to their holiday home somewhere and shot himself. I’m not sure she was as detailed as that but she may have been. I guess it wasn’t just India that was too much for him, it was life in general. In retrospect he must have been very depressed. I felt for him and his family. R.I.P